Just a bit of positivity.

Hey guys. Alice here. 

I just wanted to give a few words of encouragement because I feel like I don't do that enough. 

I just want to say that life is unexpected and unfair sometimes. It will always be that way. But that doesn't mean we have to let the tough things ruin us. 

We owe it to ourselfs to be strong in the face of others. Never let someone insignificant knock you down. People can try to make you jealous and torture you and everything but it's up to you to turn your attention away. People like this don't deserve our attention. No matter how hard we want to give it. 

Confession #10

 I am bi-curious. 

In My previous post, I mentioned a break up that's been hard on me. That relationship I had was with a technical girl. He was transgender female to male. It really changed my outlook on my sexuality. 

Let's talk about depression

What's up my few readers. you may or may not have noticed that I haven't been on in forever and I apologize. I'm here to give sort of an explanation AND to announce what is going to become of this blog. 

I will tell you first I guess that I was gone for very personal reasons. I'm not going to go into to detail but the gist of it is, I have been suffering a major depression due to a very influential person in my life moving out of the house, a really devastating break up that I went through recently, and just growing up in general. 

I have been in this depression for the past maybe 6 months and it has gradually gotten worse. I am head deep into it still but have found enough in me to come back and post. I think talking stuff out might actually help me. 

So basically, before when I posted the things I did on this blog, I was already on a downword spiral. Always angry, hating the world, blaming everyone else for my problems. And I got to the point where I just wanted to be alone and signed off. Also a part of me was dissatisfied with my lack of followers and I felt like I was going no where. But anywho, I gave up on trying to express myself. Not only on this blog but in real life. I gave up on everything, and I did horrible things to myself that I regret. 

It was just a mess. And when you're battling with yourself internally, the last thing you want to do is put yourself out there for everyone to look at you know? 

So with my time to myself, I definitely would NOT say I have recovered. I'm still very much sick in the head. But I can say that I feel more comfortable writing again. Writing about life to all of you to be exact. I'm sure no one really cares and I'm sure no one actually reads this but as a person with depression and anxiety, I will say writing is comforting. It Makes me feel like someone is there to listen even if there isn't. 

But anyways, with all this happening right  now and and with previous revelations, I have decided to shift this blog more into documenting my life rather then talking about fandoms. I plan to still do book reviews and confessions, but it won't be 24/7 about books anymore. I just feel like books is something I like to talk about when I'm happy and I'm never happy lately so how could I? 

I hope you like what I do with my blog. It won't be TOO different from the usual thing I used to do but the layout will change definitely. I hope you all enjoy your lives, sleep tight, and God bless. 

Let's be serious a moment.

So I just want to share some advice about something that a lot of people don't pay attention to and I feel like people need to realize what they are doing. 

If you are friends with someone who loves a fandom or person or object that you HATE, DO NOT talk shit about that thing. It doesn't matter how much you hate it, you have no right to hurt your friend's feelings over something like that. I'm have been on both sides of these situations and I know it hurts. I think talking shit about something your friend loves is the single rudest thing you can ever do to them. So please fucking stop. 

A sad day

I'm not sure if any of you guys know these two but even if you don't sorry if this post bores you. Yesterday anthony and kalel (WatchUsLiveAndStuff) split up after 4 happy years and 3 and a half years of vlogging their life adventures. If you didn't know them, they were engaged, they owned three cats together, they lived together, and they were in the middle of constructing their dream house from the bottom up. The last video they had posted before that was them visiting the construction site of their house and it was a very exciting moment. Without notice though, the videos stopped coming for more then a month. Everyone was confused and devastated that we didn't know what was happening. After a long period of silence, they released a video yesterday annoucing their split. I was shocked. Everyone was shocked. They were so on top of the world and fit together so well that it seemed alien for them to ever be apart. I've been crying since I found out and I'm trying to get over this. It's crazy to think that one second you can be so happy, but the next so bored with the person you have loved dearly for four years. They say they were moving apart but to me it just doesn't fit. They were inseparable. Anyway, I've become very depressed because of this because I really looked up to them and their relationship inspired me. Now, I'm having trouble believing that there is a such thing as unconditional loving someone for the rest of your life. 

No words

BOOK REVIEW: "Gentlemen" by Michael Northrop

So I read this little novel about a few weeks ago and honestly it was very very good. It deserves a lot more attention then it's gotten. It's a short read but it keeps you on the edge of your seat waiting for answeres. 

Basically the book is about a group of teenage boys who aren't exactly model students. After one of them goes missing, the clues begin piling up to the point where the boys believe that their teacher murdered their friend and they actually assisted him in dumping the body without realizing. Are they right about their accusation, or simply just crazy?